Happiness is rooted in self-love and authenticity.
But how exactly do you find your authentic self when you are told by marketing every few seconds, you need to buy a product to be a better version of yourself?
Narrow down truly what you want for your life
How often have you been asked, “what do you want in life?” most of us answer with the statement “I don’t know what I want.”
There are a few reasons for this response
- We really don’t know what we want
- We simply are too embarrassed to say exactly what we want
Don’t be submissive to everyone else’s idea of what you should be doing.
Ask yourself,
“What would I do if no one was watching? What would I do if it didn’t matter how much money I am making or what people would think of me?”
If you are not sure what you want in life take one thing you do know you want and build off that.
Learn who you are
Most of us have a false reality of self because we struggle with self-doubt and self-image.
Social media plays a huge role in our negative image.
- The easiest thing you can do is ask the people we are closest to for positive feedback. We are so jaded, that we cannot see the light in ourselves that others do so clearly.
- Find an online personality test
- Take yourself on dates
Embrace your preferences
Don’t suppress what you like.
If you love something that might not be what is trending on Tik Tok, don’t feel like you can’t still celebrate it. This means you are the next trendsetter, not the next trend follower.
Your preferences will change and grow with you over time. Your preferences can change just like the seasons.
Romanticize your life, the way you want.
As long as you are staying true to yourself and not following the herd, simply because, do that.
Be a picky betch
“You’re so picky!” is always said in such a negative tone.
The reality is you know what you like and don’t care for the alternative. Be true to that.
As women, we are taught to be submissive to what we want and should take what we are given, fck that.
When you are being your authentic self, you don’t settle for anything less than what you truly like and want.
Listen to your gut
That annoying little voice that you try to dismiss over and over? Don’t just ignore it anymore.
Read into what your subconscious is trying to tell you and why.
Some of the best life decisions I ever made for myself are because I listened to my gut.
Put yourself first
A lot of us feel the need to put others’ feelings and happiness before our own.
Obviously, if you have children and family, you and your family’s well-being should come first.
But, the rest of the world, they don’t matter. They don’t care about you, so why should you care about them?
You’re too nice and it doesn’t get you anywhere in life.
Set boundaries
Don’t agree to things if it doesn’t make you happy or serve your purpose.
Don’t set boundaries if they are simply fear based boundaries. Be honest with yourself as to why you are setting a boundary.
What do I mean by this?
Don’t set a boundary that will stunt your personal growth.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable, if you know you will benefit from the outcome.
Unapologetically go after what you want
No matter what you do, you will always be stepping on someone else’s toes. So just do it.
Again, the nice guy never gets anywhere in life, but where he started.
Why should you not be the nice guy?
Because, If the other guy has the CHANCE TO STEP ON YOUR TOES, let me tell you, THEY WILL STOMP. Almost every time.
Don’t give them the opportunity. Period.
Unapologetically be who you want to be
No matter what you do, people are going to talk.
This has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you.
Give them something to talk about that makes you happy and that you love.
Don’t let trolls’ opinions put you in the shade. That’s what they want.
Let go of useless thoughts/beliefs that don’t serve you
Ask yourself,
“Am I proud of what I am creating for my life? My own validation is all that matters.”
This is easier said than done. A big part of being our authentic selves is not putting ourselves back in our box when we try to let our true selves out.
We do this because we are our own worst critics. We have to stop.
Stop the self-sabotage and self-comparison.
Be proud of who you are and what you are creating. Forget perfectionism and give yourself room to grow.
Live in the present
Anxiety lives in the future, depression lives in the past.
When you are firmly rooted in the now, you do not worry about the future.
When you live in the present, you can carelessly live in the space that is your authentic self.
Do that instead.
xo,
Kels
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